“Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.” ~Cynthia Nelms
Today’s blog may sound like a rant. That’s probably because it is a rant. I’ll make no apologies for my mood at the time of writing this.
Re-releasing people who have been married for longer than 10 years back into the dating woods is like releasing an animal brought up in captivity into the wild. Cue the cute, bumbling duck waddling up to the wolf … “Hey, can we be friends??”.
I was naively under the impression that dating went something like this:
- Meet someone who makes your pupils dilate and who gives you the time of day in return
- Go out on some dates to get to know each other.
- Option A) You don’t like each other; you stop dating. Option B) You enjoy each other, you continue dating.
- If option A – return to Step 1. If option B – form a relationship.
- Option B continues until you get to option A or until you decide to make things more officially forever.
Unhappiness generally occurs when we are refusing delivery of reality. Reality means learning to see the men for the wolves. My dating reality:
- Chat online with people who post 10yr old photos and either lie about themselves or are honest to the point of insulting. If you are lucky, you can have anatomically correct photos and rancid flirting delivered to your inbox all before your morning tea.
- Have a conversation with a sane sounding person and agree to meet for afternoon tea.
- Option A) Use your well designed escape hatch. Option B) Make plans for a real date.
- If option A – return to step 1. If option B – learn the rules of the forest before taking any more steps!
- Option B is not straight forward. The rules are similar to hunting wild game with a bank manager – you don’t want to do anything to scare off the potential date ’cause they’re a flighty bunch, and in much the same way you have to prove to the bank that you don’t need the money in order to get a loan, you have to prove to a suitor that you don’t want anyone special in your life because it’s already totally fulfilled. Really, I’m just dating to improve my credit score.
Doesn’t ‘relationship’ simply mean admitting you’ve met someone you enjoy enough that you’d rather spend time with them than the person on the next bar stool?
“Well, how do you know if you haven’t dated the person on the next bar stool”, I hear someone ask.
“Risk assessment and irrelevancy”, I answer. Chances are high that the person on the next bar stool is an idiot in human clothing and if I’m happy with the person I’m already enjoying, what exactly am I hoping to gain by heading back to step 1? Happiness? Ah, tautology at it’s finest.
I had a blind date today.
So…it has come to this !
Odds of meeting a single man: 1 in 23. Odds of meeting a cute single man: 1 in 529. Odds of meeting a cute, single, smart man: 1 in 3,245,873. Odds of meeting the above when you’re having a good hair day: 1 in 9,729,528. There is insufficient data to calculate the odds of meeting a guy who is not a flight risk on a good hair day.
Rating: Blind date day (6 out of 10)
- Itchy feet – 4 out of 5 (gotta love potential)
- Twitch – if you think I still have it, odds are you’re right
- Happy hour – 2 out of 5 (gotta love reality)
What the heck does all that mean, you ask? Read Itchy Feet Explained.
Tomorrow: Picnic and feed the birds. Use the calendar to view my happiness tasks for each day along with a brief description of the task and why I chose it.